Many people here (most?) will confirm your belief and deny that vaccines cause autism. This is the official policy of the US government and encompassed scientific institutions. But it is not true. There is a small but significant autism response to MMR vaccinations, and likely other vaccinations to a lesser extent. The "official position" of the US government has required manipulation of vaccine-study data, specification of poorly designed vaccine-study protocols, and official refusal to cooperate with freedom-of-information requests for the raw data from their vaccine studies and vaccine-injury databases. The latter has now been legally broken by court decision, which may make this one of the bigger scandals of the decade.
First, let me deal with your actual question before I deal with the underlying issue of the truth or falsehood of the doctor’s declaration to your wife.
You have choices regarding the information itself: (1) agree with it, (2) disagree with it, and (3) take a undecided position. It would appear that you have already made this decision.
You have multiple actions you can take: (1) go along with your wife’s decision(s) to vaccinate or not vaccinate despite your certainty, (2) oppose her decisions if they are to not vaccinate or to deviate from the "approved" vaccination schedules, or (3) seek marriage counseling. This may sound humorous, but it is not.
You can certainly challenge this doctor. But you will ultimately loose. As you dig into the anti-vaccine information and literature, you will find information that you cannot dismiss as (1) quackery, (2) fanaticism, (3) religious fundamentalism, and (4) Luddism (techno-phobia). At the very least, you may discover an open mind.
Let me provide a snowflake from the tip of the iceberg. This quote is from Garry Gordon of the F.A.C.T. group: "Mandatory vaccinations are scheduled to begin January 1st in California for certain grades–or your child cannot go to school. Yet here we have a CDC Scientist who has become a whistleblower stating that the vaccine research he was involved in was manipulated so that the evidence for a potential MMR-autism link would not be found."
Just FYI, the senior CDC scientist, Dr. William Thompson, stated about the MMR-autism link, “I regret that my coauthors and I omitted statistically significant information in our 2004 article published in the Journal of Pediatrics.”
Dr. Thompson also stated, under oath, that senior CDC researchers tried to destroy documents related to this cover-up, which Dr. Thompson saved. Is this of interest to you, considering your children’s welfare?
Gordon goes on to say that, in his medical practice, "The majority of parents tell me [their child’s] autism developed shortly after a vaccination." A surprisingly high number of similar reports in my consulting service caused me to look into the science of vaccination responses, which I summarized here in Quora, for (I think) two different questions. To summarize in only one sentence, the vaccine adjuvant is designed to challenge the body’s antioxidant defense system to potentiate the immune-system response to the vaccine antigen. What this means to you is that the potential for a catastrophic (in the mathematical sense) collapse of your child’s antioxidant defense system (i.e., redox balance) depends on the strength (robustness) of your child’s system. This is variable based on constitutional considerations, and it varies based on daily dietary and environmental challenges. Yet redox potential (oxidation-reduction status) is not measured before giving vaccinations. When employing a one-size-fits-all vaccination policy regarding both antigen and adjuvant, some children will be over-challenged and other children will be under-challenged.
If you end up with enough information to mediate your certainty, you might consider a compromise position with your wife. If not you, then maybe other Quora readers can see [insert humor here] that the lips of politicians and bureaucrats are moving. There is an over-the-counter solution to stabilize antioxidant defenses during a vaccination.
Even if antioxidant recycling is compromised, administering vitamin C (ascorbic acid) stabilizes the reduced glutathione (GSH) pool and mitigates the effect of the vaccine adjuvant (thimerosal or alumina salts). This can require a gram or two of vitamin C per day, started a day (or two?) before the vaccination, and continuing for a few days after the vaccination (or for 8 days if you want to play it safe and mitigate IgA, IgM and IgG antibodies, too).
If you consider this option, let me add: (1) Dr. Kalokerinos found that only a single injection of vitamin C was sufficient to prevent SIDS following vaccination in aboriginal infants in Australia. But I’m not sure that the redox challenge to aboriginal infants for preventing SIDS (sudden infant-death syndrome) would be the same as preventing autism. (2) It might be wise to taper off the vitamin C gradually rather than stop multiple-gram dosing abruptly. Sudden drops in vitamin C can induce "rebound scurvy" and oxidative challenge. I am familiar with rebound scurvy at doses of 4-12 grams per day, but it is possible that it might happen at doses of 1-2 grams per day. (3) It might be beneficial to split the vitamin C into multiple smaller doses (500 mg 4 times per day instead of 2 grams all at once). Vitamin C has a half-life of 4-5 hours in the bloodstream, so spreading out the dosing makes some sense.
I have one last consideration to offer: if your wife believes the doctor and you succeed in "forcing" your child’s vaccinations, and there is a complication following the vaccination, regardless of whether it is or is not actually related to the vaccination, your wife may feel that the vaccination was responsible and never forgive you.
I wish you well for your investigation. I remember well my pre-convictions regarding vaccinations before I looked into the science.
James Robert Deal , Attorney & Broker
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